First Day Of School

Today was the first day of school. My son went off to 1st grade and my daughter is a high schooler. I officially made it through summer break. So to honor this occasion, I am attaching a story I wrote in June. To all you parents out there celebrating this day with me today…congratulations!
All joking aside though, it’s an odd feeling seeing your babies traipse off to the bus stop knowing just yesterday they were teeny tiny and saying “momma” for the first time. It was lonely after they left and the house was all mine (plus one dog & cat) so thank you to Kate for taking me out to lunch and Laura and my Mommy for sending me the sweetest emails this morning.

Summer Break

Day 1
Today is the first day of my kid’s summer break and day one of Operation Prozac. I only had to scream at them twice which is far fewer than anticipated. I even had them trained as lackeys by 11am which entailed lunch brought up to my office and cold beverages….and Advil after the two screaming episodes. Even though the day went better than expected, I was still a little delirious by mid-afternoon. I had an appointment the next town over which normally would have taken me 30 minutes, but I left an hour early just to escape.

Day 2
I made it all the way to noon without having to shout “knock it off!!!!!!!!!” As much as I think playing Nintendo all day is detrimental to brain health, I’m paralyzed with fear and unable to restrict the thing. They’re doing chores today…raking the yard and picking up the house. Should keep ‘em quiet for a little while. I’m starting to realize building my home office in the only room without a door was probably not the smartest idea. Wonder how may decibels of rock music it would take to drown out the fighting?
It’s Friday today…salvation.

Day 3
It’s Monday. I discovered the trick to a couple painless hours of tranquility. I moved their bedtimes 2 hours later! It’s perfect because I get up early and they sleep in therefore giving me a few productive moments to work in quiet peace. They’re starting to learn not to interrupt me every 3 minutes with their presence in my office, but the little geniuses conspired and now they text me because I can’t yell as loud via text message.

Day 4
The weather has just been wretched…an overall dreariness. The kids go play outside for what feels to me like 3 minutes, but is probably realistically closer to 30 minutes. Then they come back in complaining that “it’s cold”. I finally banished them from video games and they have been exiled downstairs to play board games, read or play. Every few minutes one of them shouts at the other one and when I get down there, both of them have an angelic presence about them and when I ask “What is going on here?” the only response they’re willing to offer up is “we’re not doing anything” as if to make me believe I imagined all the yelling.

Day 5
Today I have officially made it a week and I am still intact and haven’t needed intravenous Tequila as of yet. Maybe the summer won’t be as bad as I expected and the Gods are smiling on me. I might just make it unscathed after all! I would like to give my own mother a little shout out and thank her for not giving my brother and me up for adoption all those summers she had to stay home with us.
Eventually the summer recreation programs I have them signed up for start and sweet peace and quiet is MINE!
Well…I have to go rescue a small boy from a nail polish wielding teenager.