Post Halloween Commentary

So it turns out crafting humorous stories with witty quips daily was more difficult than I had anticipated and I seem to have lost some inspiration. My apologies for the delay between blogs, but thank you to the many people who have emailed, texted and called to tell me they miss me and to “get off my ass” and write more. So here I am and I’ll try to whip up at least one of these per week. But that’s all I’m promising until I get my mojo back.
Halloween was this Saturday, which happens to be my all time number one favorite holiday. My family drove down and spent the weekend with us and we had a blast. I have to say, drunken Rockband on the Wii was more fun than I remembered. I had a crew of 6 kids going out together to trick-or-treat all ranging in ages from 14 to 6. When my brother and I were kids we lived in the country and my mom would drive us into town and we’d hit the major neighborhoods while my mom stayed in the warm car patiently waiting for us. Back in those days it didn’t matter how cold you were, how uncomfortable you were or how embarrassed of your cheeseball costume you were…your butt was out there for the long-haul. You didn’t quit until your mom was physically dragging your sugar sodden backside back to the car at which point you’d come down off your sugar high and complained the whole way home that if you’d only had FIVE more minutes you could have located that mythical house that gave out “whole candy bars!!” Nowadays, these kids drop like flies. The first two to come home were my nephew and my son. My nephew walked in and informed us he was “done…I’m just done!” and my son puked on the way and just wanted to sit on the floor organizing his candy and refilling his empty stomach. Shortly thereafter, we lost two more and in the end only two teenage girls were left standing. As punishment to my son for surrendering so soon, I’ve been stealing candy from his bucket instead of the teenager’s. So once everyone had petered out, the most amazing thing happened…all the kids sat on the floor, dumped out their buckets and immediately turned into used car salesmen! It was the most fascinating thing I have ever seen. My brother and I would usually dump out our buckets just to admire what we had received and to toss out all the sub-par candies like the dum-dum suckers and the tootsie rolls. But these kids…”I’ll give you 3 Butterfingers for just one of those Fun Dips!” “My Fun-Dips are not for sale! Choose again!” I learned a valuable lesson that night...candy is currency for kids and Fun Dip is more valuable than the almighty dollar.
My children were both abnormally testy the next day after their extreme sugar consumption and lack of sleep which helps alleviate some of the guilt I should have when taking candy from their stash while they’re at school. I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened to your Reeses Peanut Butter Cups…perhaps you mistakenly traded them for all of those 3 Musketeers I’m not going to touch with a 10-foot pole. Three Musketeers is a B.S. candy bar. Without at least some caramel it’s useless to me.
Hope your Halloween was as satisfying and fun as mine was.
And a sidenote to the peopleofwalmart.com folks…you made my year with this website and if you need anyone to help write those delightful captions under the pictures…I’m your girl. If you haven’t checked out this website…oh I must tell you, you’re missing out.